Electric Energy

If you have read the “about me” section you know that my story started with our house being struck by lightening, which ignited a fire. It obviously was not the source of my trauma, but it certainly adds a twist to my life story! As a result, our house was gutted and rebuilt. All peanuts compared to losing my beautiful son.

When our home was finally rebuilt, and we moved back in, we made some changes. One of those being where my youngest son would reside. He used to have the room closest to us, but with changes made to the layout upstairs, that no longer made sense. SO, we gave him Christian’s room. We consciously chose a fresh, green paint color which symbolized change. It was hard, but so important to fill the room with life again.

Nicky, our youngest, has filled the room with an enthusiastic, intense energy! Similar, yet different, than Christian’s. There is no doubt Christian has a hand in some of the mischief that occurs in that room. Nicky can hold his own in the mischief department too, though. Within those four walls Christian’s spirit is extremely present. The light in that room is the only one in the house that consistently flickers. We even had the electrician double check the connection to make sure everything looked good. I will often enter the room, flick on the light and it will start to blink. Sometimes this happens more frequently than others. Whenever the light does this, I say, “Hi, Christian”.

We don’t need the light flickering to feel Christian’s energy in our home. It is nice though. These signs and means of communication make me so happy. Yet, at the same time, so mad. Light communication is not how I want to be hearing from my son! Either way, I will take it, making the best of a sad thing. Our energy will never be parted. Love never dies; this I know for sure! Love to heaven…


  1. Kerry Kopf says:

    I love this Cara! I am sure Christian is thrilled that you decided to have Nicky use that room. Which he is showing you by flickering the lights. Recently when Nicky was sitting at the craft table with me, I thought about the differences/similarities between he and Christian 🎈💚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jill OBrien says:

    I’m a believer in the flickering lights and would do the same! My brother holds onto a window candle that was in my Mom’s room that flickers like that.

    A quote that I always remember comes to mind right now. Mitch Albom from Tuesdays with Morrie: “All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time.” and one more from same: “Death ends a life, not a relationship.”

    You and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers and I know how you feel loss every second of every day but it may be more profound on special days and holidays. Last night I was thinking of spring break and Easter Sunday and your family. Much love to you all.

    Liked by 1 person

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